Sha na na na

Na na na na na wa yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip ma ma ma ma ma ma get a job.

So the time has come. I have been home for 6 and a half weeks. I am broke and kinda bored. Plus Christmas is coming. And even though I already told everyone I know I am not buying them anything this year I still wanna be able to go to parties and hang out and stuff. Plus the movies. The MOVIES! I would have to give up those and become more of a hermit than I have been.

But since I have been home it is not like I have been sitting twiddling my thumbs. About 2 weeks ago after a lot of self doubt, procrastination, and laziness I pulled myself together and went out to get a distributor for my jewellery. I went to a CorkTown Designs in the Distillery District. It was the only place I could think of where I believed my work would fit in. And it took me months to get up the courage to go there. Even on the day I went I sat in the car for a good 20 minutes psyching myself up before I could even get out. I took some deep breathes and walked in. And you know what? The accepted some of my pieces. I know. I don’t know why I didn’t mention it before either. It is a really big accomplishment for me. For a long time people have been telling me my stuff should totally be in a store but I just couldn’t bring myself to go out and try to present myself to people. But I did it. I haven’t heard anything since and I have to work myself up to call them to get an update. I will see.

To keep myself busy I have been doing some web design, just site layouts in Adobe. I first started because we are looking to redo Underbelly but then I just kept going. I have done 25 so far and I still haven’t picked one and I have been getting better and better. The more I do the harder the choice is going to be but I am so indecisive about it.

What else have I done? I started painting again. I did 2 canvases (24×24) with acrylic paint.

I drew them up in my sketch book months ago and just never got around to it. Then I had this “I have to paint” moment a couple of weeks ago and bought some canvases with my quickly diminishing funds. And I drew them up just before I got sick. And then on Saturday, it was the first day I was feeling well, I put on my headphones and some music, pulled out the brushed and got to work. They’re supposed to be poppies, at least that is where the inspiration came from. I think it came out kinda great. It is already on my wall.

Now the rest of my time off was just really regaining my mental health. Well I kinda gained it, then lost it, and now it is back I think. But I don’t have that tired, listless, continuously defeated feeling anymore. I feel rested and my mind is working. I know part of it has to do with getting up at 11 every day (thanks for the wake-up call Cory) and just being on my own schedule. But it also has to do with not being in the stifling, boring, soul robbing office that I was subjected to everyday. But it seems this will be and has to come to an end soon.

I don’t really want to get a job. If I did I probably would have found one already. And it is not that I don’t want to work, I actually don’t mind working at all. It is just the office environment that is so disheartening. I was hoping I would have found some way to make money already that would keep me from going back into that environment. And then I would have a business that could grow and then one day when I do go back into an office it would be one that I own. Unfortunately that doesn’t seem to be the case, yet.

But for now I guess I will have to touch up the resume, iron my shirts, and polish my uncomfortable shoes. Also practice my smile and firm handshake. I am not looking forward to having to trot in and out of offices and putting on a show. But I gotta do what I gotta do.

I wish it was that easy. You know anyone who is hiring?

Tra

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Tra

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